Social Life?

Hi,
Meandering mind today. (sigh) I do hate that when my brain cannot quiet itself. Even more so when it won't pin itself down to any particular worry. Whee.

Today, I think I'm mostly thinking about friendships. Likely because I'm feeling lonely. I don't really understand friendships. I certainly have no skills at starting one. Thus the loneliness I suppose.

When I was little, I had a sister who was one year older than I, and social. I pretty much got all of my childhood friendships as a result of tagging along with her. I never learned how to establish one for myself. I'm sorely noticing this lack now. Not that I blame her, in any way. I just wish some of her talent had somehow rubbed off on me.

Later, in High School, and even college, my friendships were all a result of Kelly. She glommed onto me in Jr. High, decided we were friends, and from that point forward, her friends were my friends. So, again, I didn't learn how to make a friend, how to approach someone, how to discover if we clicked, how to go from "Hi, How ya doing?" to.. ."Wanna get together sometime?"
Then, post college, I was in a new town, no sister, no Kelly, and no friends. After an incredibly depressing and lonely year or so, there, another single young teacher who was new to town adopted me as her friend. Once again, I learned nothing of the process for how to go about this.

A few years later I married my now ex-husband/current best friend. He was well established in the town, and had friends and such. But then we moved to Reno. Neither of us ever really got into any social circles there. We had work acquaintances and such. And, I think because we had each other, and jobs, that was enough.

Now, I'm married to a man with Asperger's, who only feels the need for 1 friend... me. He has no skills at getting from "How ya doing?" to "Come on over for..." And he doesn't seem to miss it either. That's the problem. I think I do miss it. I'm not sure exactly what I miss... but something is lacking here.

Some of it, I think, is the lack of routine. A lot of it is the lack of purpose, for me. Currently, being unemployed, in a tiny town that has rolled up its sidewalks for the winter, I don't even seem to have "how ya doing?" going for me.

I know that there is a solution out there for me. Once it feels like my health will be consistently good enough for me to volunteer at the local school, and once we can afford the gas to get there and back on a consistent basis, I will be able to establish a routine, perhaps a purpose, and at the very least, the "how ya doing?" kind of connection that I am missing.

Beyond that? I have no idea how to progress beyond that. So far in my life, people have all done that part for me. I'm not sure I can continue to count on that at this point in my life. These are folks who've made a choice to live in this remote village. They are established, have friends and families and commitments. Why would they even think of including me? Why should they add me into their lives? I dunno... (sigh-shudder)

I just honestly have no idea how to proceed, here. I don't have the skills.

We were chatting with a man on the street recently. He suggested trying a church. I think that may be a good idea. But I am also scared, because I don't know how to tell if a church will help or hinder my spirituality, which is tenuous currently. I don't want to fall into false teachings in order to fill a social need. I don't know how to tell the difference between false and true teachings, except by the urgings of my own heart. In the past that has not led to the best of spiritual decisions.

So, now what?

How does a person learn how to make friends?